Triathlon

Well there is no turning back. I am signed up for the Pewaukee triathlon Sunday, July 11th. My good friend, no wait we aren't good friends, we are great friends, (no used trying to disarm a bomb after it has already gone off) and loyal blog reader, Preston, is also signed up. I am also throwing out this challenge to any and all blog readers. None of you can or will beat me in this event. This is a pretty bold statement since I have yet to run since my back surgery. But I am pretty confident. I have done quite a bit of biking since my doctor has given me the green light to proceed with normal activities. And I am starting to feel pretty good.

In looking at the last triathlon I did back in 2008 I have the same goals. And they are:
1/4 mile swim: 15 minutes
15 mile bike: I would like to average 20 miles per hour, which would be 45 minutes.

5K run: I don't have real high hopes for this run. 8 minute miles would be fantastic.

So with transition times, I am looking to finish sub 1 hour and 30 minutes.

But my secondary goal for this triathlon would be to win one of the events. How are you going to do that you ask? Well that is a wonderful question. It is pretty obvious in looking at the goals that I set for myself that none of those times will be any where near the winning time. I am hoping and planning on having the fastest transition time from the bike to the run. Going back to the last triathlon that I did in Elkhart Lake I was 3rd. Don't believe me? Here is the link. You have to click on the pull down menu to "TRANS 2" and then hit "Refresh Leaders". 3rd place.

So if you are afraid to step up to the challenge, at least make note to come down and watch me smoke the field in the second transition. It is almost worth coming to just see me in the transition. All of the times are recorded with timing chips that record your time when you step across a mat. In fact you can see the mats in the picture above. So I dismount off my bike and stand right before the mat for at least 45 seconds or so to catch my breath. I even talk to the official that stands at the mat. I tell him "Make sure you look for bid number 123, I will have the fastest time." Then as all of the other competitors are moving through the transition area at a causal jog, you see me racing like a bat out of hell through the maze of bikes. It is truly an idiotic thing to see. And something only a moron like me would do.

There are a lot of athletes that take these triathlons pretty serious. I don't do it unless I am going to have fun. I know I am not going to win. Who do I look like....Krum? I have done a couple of these races with Tree before. We always sign up for the same group. And in the minutes leading up to the start in the water, Tree and I are always trying to dunk each other. Preston you better watch yourself.

When I finally emerge from the water after the swim, there are normally officials standing at those mats too. I always ask them if I am winning, they usually laugh and say "Yep." Then I ask how far back is the person in second place.

Before Tree moved to North Carolina he gave me his road bike. And by now that bike has to be close to 20 years old. I usually don't show up to early for the race itself, so I have to park a ways away from the starting line. As I bike in, I can usually tell which people will beat me based on how nice/modern their bikes are. Some people drop thousands of dollars on their bikes. My bike has a bell on it. In the chance that during the bike I pass anyone, I always ring my bell. But I get a big kick out of passing people who have bikes that are worth $3,000. I would like to get one of those super aerodynamic bike helmets just so I would look like more of a moron. But there is no use spending $175 on a bike helmet. I would even think about wearing it during the run. How funny would that be?

Here is your lyric:

I see a woman in the night.

With a baby in her hand.

There's an old street light.

Near a garbage can.

Now she puts the kid away and she's gone to get a hit.

She hates her life and what she's done to it.

There's one more kid that will never go to school.

Never get to fall in love, never get to be cool.