Friday, June 03, 2011

It Is Him, Not Me.......Right?

Memorial Day Weekend, I welcomed a new neighbor to the neighborhood. Preston and Jessica moved into the apartment across the street. Originally I was pretty happy about this, because I would be seeing my good friend, Preston, more often. That was until I got this phone call from Preston’s brother, Justus, and then it became apparent that I might continue to get phone calls like the one below in the future. Here is a transcript of our conversation.
The phone rings.
Me: “Hey, Justus what is up?”
Justus: “Not much. How are you buddy?”
Me: “I have no major complaints.”
Justus: “Hey, is Preston home?”
Me: “I don’t know, he hasn’t checked in with me today.” (Not that he would normally check in with me.)
Justus: “Can you look outside and see if his car is out there?”
Me: “Nope, I don’t see his car. Have you tried calling him on his cell phone?”
Justus: “Yes, I tried his cell phone but he didn’t answer.”
Me: “Well then I would guess that he is either busy or he doesn’t want to talk to you.”
It was at this point that I hear Justus talking to someone in the background. After a minute of being ignored, I interrupted Justus.
Me: “Hey Justus, if you are done talking to me, I am going to hang up.”
Justus: “No wait a second, what are you doing right now?”
Me: “I was just about to head out for a bike ride. Why? What do you need?”
Justus: “I need to move a couch and a chair downstairs.”
Me: “Give me an hour and I will stop by and help you once I am done with my bike ride.”
Justus: “In an hour it will be too late.”
Me: “What are you talking about?”
Justus: “We just sold our couch and chair on craigslist and someone is coming to pick them up right away.”
Me: “Wait a second, let me get this straight. You want me to come over to help you move a couch and a chair downstairs so someone who purchased this couch and chair can take them.”
Justus: “Yes.”
Me: “Why don’t you just have the people who purchased the couch and chair, help you move them downstairs?”
Justus: (As if implying that it wasn’t his idea) “Buddy, you wouldn’t understand.”

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