Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Thanksgiving Weekend

It has been a pretty wild last week or so for me. Let me give you a quick run down of what I have been up to. As you may know that Gun Deer Season started the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Sunday morning I was over at my parents house butchering away at the deer. I worked over there from last Sunday through to this Monday. We took Thanksgiving off, and at last count we took care of 197 deer in 8 days, that is about 25 a day. Pretty brutal. Last Wednesday I had indoor soccer. We again won and I again scored a goal. I should have had more. But with 3 games to go in the season, the team is 5-0 and I have a 20 to 15 point lead in scoring over one Dave "The General" Stegall. After Wednesday's game the team all went out to Pistol Pete's. I am always happy to make this outing because it is really the only time that the team gets together off the field all year. Thursday was Thanksgiving which was at my brother Jon's this year. The turkey was succulent. My sister hit a home run with home made rolls. I must have polished off 7 or 8 mini turkey sandwiches. But the tryptophan hit me hard. We started playing some sheepshead after dinner. In about a half an hour I was falling asleep at the table. Friday was that annual Natesgiving. Despite one small delay due to operator error on a thermometer reading everything was great. Thanks Nate and Michel. Saturday night I went with my brother, Dan, to the Bucks game. They lost but it was fun regardless. After a beer at the bar I went home to find a message from Andy and Brian from my soccer team. They were at the Up and Under on the Eastside and wanted me to meet them. Well I am always up for one more bar. So I headed back down to the Eastside. They had a band playing, Southbound. They were a decent band. But I am sure they were less than thrilled when after they finished I cornered the lead singer and I told him I wanted them to play "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" by the Rolling Stones. Nor did they want to hear that I was going to see Phil Lesh the following night. At bar time we headed to Oakland Gyros. I can never get sick of going to that place at bar time. As I mentioned Sunday night I went to see Phil Lesh with Chris Reimer. Just a great show. Check out the set list. Plus a real mellow crowd. Chris and I got within just a couple of feet of the stage towards the end of the show. Monday I had another indoor soccer game. And last night was the pinnacle of my last week or so. The General and I went to go and see the Dave Matthews Band at the Kohl Center in Madison. But first we had to go to Wando's for a fish bowl. That gets you off in the right direction for a concert. Check out this set list. Christmas Song, that was just a bonus to an already great concert. So tonight, Wednesday, I have another soccer game and then it is time to relax for the rest of the week. After a week and a half off of work, I think I am ready to get back to my cubicle and just space out for a day or so (Note the Office Space reference). So that is what I have been up to.

Dinner Time

Now that we are beginning to reach the holiday season where families get together to celebrate each others company as well as eat drink and be merry. I would like to share with you my favorite family dinner story. This one goes way back to the early 90's, I am guessing 1992 or 1993. My older brother, Dan, was dating his wife now, girlfriend at that time, Jodi. I had meet them out at the bars a couple times. I had got to know Jodi a little bit while she knew no one else in my family. Eventually their relationship got to the point where it was time to come and meet the entire family. Obviously Jodi was a bit nervous, and probably a little intimidated since we have a good size family. Jodi didn't say much before dinner, and other than Dan, I was the only other person that she knew and her only other real ally. But that would quickly change. I forgot what my mom cooked up that night, but I believe just about everyone in the family was there so we must have had at least 10 people around the dining room table. I am pretty sure we had to put two extra leafs in the table. The seating situation was that Jodi was sitting directly across from me, with Dan and my mom on either side of her. Jodi didn't really say much of anything all of dinner. I think my dad might have asked her a question or two and she didn't give much more than a one or two word answer. We had finished dinner and there was a little small talk going on around the table. I am guessing most of it was done by my brothers talking about either cutting down a tree or killing some type of animal. Finally when there was a lull in the conversation, I decided it was time to be the little trouble maker that I am. I announced "Well Jodi, I don't need to impress my mom so why don't you take my plate into the kitchen?" At which point I picked up my plate and extended it towards Jodi. Jodi with a shocked look on her face, looked at me, then at Dan, then at my mom. She then pushed her chair back, stood up, grabbed my plate and carried it in to the kitchen. Of course since that time, Dan and Jodi got married and have two wonderful kids. Now when there is a family get together and we are all sitting together eating at the dining room table, Jodi makes me clear her plate. That is fine, I am happy to do it, because no matter what, she will never get me back as bad as I got her. On that note a belated Happy Thanksgiving.


It is a sad day for all of us. I have once again been eliminated from my own gambling endeavor. But at least all of you who have entered, now know that it isn't fixed. However now that I am out and I can not make any more picks. I will continue to make picks for the future Mrs. Rickie Davies from the team that I think will win. I don't know what the spread is in the Tampa Bay game, that is the team I am going with this week. I saw some real talent on the sidelines for this team. As usual here are the SPREADS. This is who is left and their used up teams. And I am guessing you have already taken notice of Barbara.

Tree: Atlanta, Carolina, Chicago, Cincinnati, Dallas, New England and Seattle.

Quick on the draw Joe: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincinnati, Jacksonville, Denver, Seattle and Tennessee.

Sherman: Chicago, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, New England, New York Giants, Denver and Seattle.

Todd: Chicago, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh, New England and Washington.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Another one from the Archives: How Not to Talk to the Ladies

I am guessing this was the summer of 1994 or 1995.

This story was a request from my sister in law, Julie. And it also goes out to Mrs. Debbie Nevermann who mentions this story to me everytime I see her. Now the details of this story are a bit sketchy, but I will try to replay things as best as I can, and if any one remembers better than I, please make your comments known. We had a group of guys, the only ones that I recall for sure that were there, were Nate and Krum. We had been out, I am not sure if this was a Summerfest night or not, regardless we ended up back at Judges on North Avenue. And I am sure that we had all been drinking quite a bit, this being the common theme with almost all of my college stories. As we were mingling around the bar we came across a group of girls. I don’t recall how many there were, or how good looking all of them were, but I know that there was one girl who was an absolute knockout. I know that Krum had taken a pretty big swing at the title with this girl and got nowhere. And a couple other guys from our group also tried to spark up a little conversation with this young vixen. But as each guy stepped up to the plate, this girl quickly shut down each one, and with authority might I add. Being the intellectual that I am, I realize that I have no shot at all, but I am not going to let this young starlet make us look like a bunch of chumps, even though that is what we were. Allow me to set the scene, we are in a semi crowded bar, the music is playing over the sound system yet not too loud, and no one is dancing. My group of guys is easy within earshot of the girl we all wish to make our own, at least for one evening. So I stroll up to her and I say, “Do you want to dance?” She looked me up and down, and with a look of disgust on her face, like she had just been sucking on a lemon for a half an hour she says with her stuck up attitude, “No!” Almost praying for that response, I retort loudly with, “No, you didn’t hear me. I said you look fat in those pants.” And with that I turned and walked back to my friends. I remember Krum saying to me, “Dude, what are you doing?” To which I replied to my good friend, “Krum we had no shot.”


Joe, I hope I got this up fast enough this week. Well we lost one more. And we got one more off of the dead beat list. The Dogger went down and Sherman paid up. The remaining dead beats are Dan, Jodi, Ray and Fish. We are down to 6. In case you were wondering, if their is a tie at the end of the regular season it starts over with the playoffs with the remaining contestants. But I am pretty sure I will finish off you losers well before then. Before I get to the next future Mrs. Davies. Here are the SPREADS.

Teams that are used up:

Rickie: Atlanta, Carolina, Cincinnati, Kansas City, San Diego and New York Giants.

Tree: Atlanta, Carolina, Chicago, Dallas, New England and Seattle.

Quick on the draw Joe: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincinnati, Jacksonville, Denver and Seattle.

Sherman: Chicago, Indianapolis, New England, New York Giants, Denver and Seattle.

They call him Coonen: Baltimore, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh, Denver and Washington.

Todd: Chicago, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh, New England and Washington.

Stegall you are still out of it.

I am going with the Raiders this week. And lets take a look at their Cheerleaders shall we. For those of you who don't know, Tiffany, a.k.a T.Q. (Pictured above) and I have been dating for quite some time now. If all goes well I will be taking my $90 in winnings from this league and buying some plane tickets to Vegas.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Andy's Parent's 40th Anniversary

Andy Stretching before losing his ass at the Casino.

Putt has arrived, let the gambling begin.

Andy in Jag 2 on his way to the yatch club.

Nate, Kelly, Smully and Putt.
Mr. and Mrs. Josephs.

Greg and his pitcher, after he called the Badger's loss agaisnt Iowa.

Mr. and Mrs. Josephs

Julie and Michel, and I have no idea what they are doing.

Nate flexing and me sending out the vibe.

Mr. and Mrs. Hardwick

Andy on the dance floor.

Michel teaching the kids gang signs. Or is that the shocker?

Andy and his Dad

Nate Eric and myself teaching Casey how to buy drinks for the ladies

Eric, Nate, Andy, Andy's $135 tie, Uncle Pat and myself.

Jag 2 with Julie's dinner on the side of it.

Nose Pick on Jumbotron

My college roommate who died, Tom, the winter before he accidentally killed himself, gave me two tickets to the Marquette Eagles basketball game at the Bradley Center. Tom’s dad was an alumni of Marquette University and had season tickets. Tom would have rather got drunk in his room by himself than go to the game so he offered the tickets to me. Normally I would have turned the tickets down because I am not a Marquette fan, in fact I strongly dislike them. But these seats were in the 3rd row right behind the visitors bench. Tickets this good I could not pass on. My friend, Bob, went to the game with me. This was one of the worst basketball games I had seen in a while, the half time score was something like 23-18. It was a horrible game to watch, a foul every 30 seconds and a lot of missed shots, just the caliber of game that I expected to see out of Marquette. During half time as the teams were warming up for the second half they were showing people in the crowd up on the Jumbotron as they normally do at games. I leaned over to Bob and said that if they show us on the Jumbotron let’s pick our noses. Less than a minute later, the old guy sitting on the other side of me, nudged me and said “Hey you are up on the Jumbotron.” Now at this time, I need to inform you that there are certain rules that go along with being on the Jumbotron. Rule Number 1: If you look at the screen and acknowledge that you are on the screen they will quickly go to someone else. Knowing this, I turned to Bob and said, “Are we really up there?” Bob was laughing and said, “Yes.” I said, “Watch this.” I could see out of the corner of my eye that we were on the screen and I could tell that the camera was in front of me and across the court from me. I looked right, looked left and then stuck my finger up my nose. I am sure you have all experienced at a sporting event, that there is normally a hubbub of noise when there is a lull in the action and there was this lull at this moment. As I picked my nose, the place mildly erupted into a collective laughter. At this point I knew that I had the arena in the palm of my hand, and I also knew that the camera man wasn’t going to take the camera off of me until I did something else. So I did, I stuck my finger in my mouth. This resulted in the crowd expressing their disgust with collective “Eeeewwwwuuuu.” I looked up a noticed that the camera man had quickly panned down to the people in front of me. Bob was in a fit of uncontrollable laughter and the old guy next to me swore that I was drunk. The rest of the game was highly anticlimactic, but Bob and I laughed through the remainder of the game. That was at the start of my 15 minutes of fame.


Hello kids, I hope everyone is doing well. Quick Draw Joe is back at it, with his pick in already and I am happy to announce, as well as he is happy to hear, that he is off of the dead beat list. I do have some dead beats still out there: Sherman, Jodi, Dan, Ray and Fish. We lost a couple more people this week. The unoffical and offical counts are 7 participants that remain, out of 18 that started the second round. Before I get to who is left, let me get you the SPREADS for this weeks action.

Teams that are used up:
Rickie: Atlanta, Carolina, Cincinnati, Kansas City and New York Giants.

Tree: Atlanta, Carolina, Chicago, Dallas, and Seattle.

Quick on the draw Joe: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincinnati, Jacksonville and Seattle.

The Dogger: Atlanta, Carolina, Pittsburgh, San Diego and Washington.

Sherman:Chicago, Indianapolis, New England, New York Giants and Seattle.

They call him Coonen: Baltimore, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh and Washington.

Todd: Chicago, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh and Washington.

I have been checking the news wires and I haven't found any good dirt on the San Diego Cheerleaders, but I have found some pictures of them. With pictures like these, how can I pick against them. San Diego is my lock for the week.

Since this is my blog and I can pretty much do whatever I want on it, I am going to start a new segment. And that segment would be to post a picture of my favorite cheerleader from the team that I pick. I doubt I will hear any objections. Alright maybe a few, but those are only from my female readers, and those objections will in all likelihood be made out of jealousy. I would like to introduce you to the future Mrs. Rickie Davies pictured above.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Everyone survived last week. Joe, you are pretty quick on the trigger. Your picks are in before I can even post the results from this past week. Slow down and enjoy life my friend. Alright here are the SPREADS. Same as last week, Stegall and Dan are still out of it, and that is a shame. Here are your individual situations:

Rickie: Atlanta, Cincinnati, Kansas City and New York Giants.
Tree: Atlanta, Chicago, Dallas, and Seattle.
Quick on the draw Joe: Atlanta, Cincinnati, Jacksonville and Seattle.
The Dogger: Atlanta, Pittsburgh, San Diego and Washington.
Bubs: Cincinnati, Kansas City, Seattle and Washington.
Mr. Number One Paul McCartney Fan: Cincinnati, Jacksonville, Seattle and Washington.
Jodi: Cincinnati, Jacksonville, Kansas City and Washington.
Sherman (Head of the T.O. Fan Club): Indianapolis, New England, New York Giants and Seattle.
They call him Coonen: Baltimore, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh and Washington.
Todd: Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh and Washington.
Deb: Jacksonville, Pittsburgh, Seattle and Washington.

And this week I will be taking the Carolina Panthers, not because I like their football team, but because I like their cheerleaders.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

One from the Archives: How Not to Talk to the Ladies

December 1995.

After class my roommate, Kevin and I went to this graduation party at Scottie's Pub. I barely knew the guy that was graduating but there was free beer and free subs. So that means there was free beer, free subs and me. Kevin was giving me grief and calling me a chick magnet, but we all know this not to be true. Anyhow one thing led to another and I spotted these two girls who were not associated with our party. I made my way over to them and start talking to them. The table we were sitting at was right next to this table with all of these trophies on it. Our conversation quickly got to an uncomfortable pause, at which time I turned looked at the trophies and then back at the girls and in a discussed manor said “I told these guys to bring my trophies back to my place, I said I would only loan them out for a month.” Then I pick one of the trophies up and it was for second place and I say “Second place??? Oh that is right, I remember now. I had a pulled groin that game.” One girl thought it was funny the other would have been more amused with a heart attack. I continued to talk to these girls for another ten minutes or so, and every time that there was a long pause I would say “Did I show you my trophies?” After five times it wasn’t so funny. But you know me I stayed with it and by the tenth time it was funny again. Those girls quickly dismissed me and left the bar. I don't know what the moral of the story is, and maybe you had to be there, but it was amusing.

Pulp Soccer

My indoor soccer season has started up and is in full swing. I am playing both Monday and Wednesday nights. My Wednesday night team, The Amigos, is by far the best team I have ever played on. Not only is everyone on the team highly skilled in the game of soccer, but it is a good group of guys, and we play a style of soccer that is a lot of fun to play and watch. Plus in the last five sessions that I have played with these guys, I think we have only 2 loses, 1 tie, and we have won the session every time. My friend, Dave “The General” Stegall is also on the team. The kind words I stated about the team actually do not apply to him. At the beginning of every session, The General and I put together a little wager to see who can score the most points. We award 2 points for a goal and 1 point for an assist. After the first week, The General got out to a 5-1 lead. But in week two I rebounded and with 7 points including an admittedly lucky bicycle kick goal at the buzzer, and over took the point lead at 8-7. Going into week 3, The General and I had some back and forth banter over email as we normally do before our games. I would like to invite you in to follow our correspondence.

Rickie writes:

“Hey Dave, How are things going today? I hope that you are well. Are you up for the game tonight? It should be a spirited affair. I know that you told me after last week’s game that you believe that you were no good as a soccer player and for that matter a person. But keep your chin up. We can’t all do bicycle kicks for goals.”

The General writes:

“Um, Mr. Davies, three quick points.

1. I fully expect a hat trick tonight (from me). Don't look for any more charity from me in terms of giving the ball up in the offensive 1/3. I am way too selfish of a player.

2. Screw you and your bicycle kick; I do those in my sleep.

3. You are going down. I eat shit like you for breakfast.

I hate you.

I should be over around 8-8:30.

I really hate you.”

Rickie writes:

Rickie says, "What is the matter? Oh you were through. Well allow me to retort. What does a hat trick look like?"

Stegall says, "What?"

Rickie says, "What country are you from?"

Stegall says, "What?"

Rickie says, "What ain't no country I ever heard of. Do they speak English in What?"

Stegall says, "What?"


Stegall says, "Yes"

Rickie says, "Then you understand what I'm saying?"

Stegall says, "Yes."

Rickie says, "What does a hat trick look like?"

Stegall says, "What?"

Rickie points his gun at Stegall


A long pause as Stegall soils himself.

Rickie says, "What does a hat trick look like?"

Stegall says, "It is kicking the ball in the goal."

Rickie says, "Go on."

Stegall says, "You have to do it three times."

Rickie says, "Have you ever got one?"

Stegall says, "What?"

Rickie shoots Stegall.

Rickie says, "HAVE YOU EVER GOT ONE?"

Stegall says, "No."

Rickie says, "Then why are you trying to act like you are going to get one."

Stegall says, "I didn't."

Rickie says, "Yes you did Stegall. Yes you did. Hat tricks are only scored by me. Do you read the newspapers Stegall?"

Stegall says, "Yes."

Rickie says, "Well there is this little passage from an article last week that I have memorized, and it sort of fits the occasion. Journal Sentinel, Sport Section, Page One. The path of the righteous soccer player is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of worse soccer players. Blessed is the player who, in the name of talent and good sportsmanship, kicks the crap out of the weak through the valley of darkness on the pitch, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost players. And I will strike down upon thee with great goals and furious assists those who attempt to poison and destroy my teammates. And you will know that I am the best player on that field when I score on a bicycle kick goal against you."

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Halloween Weekend

Well what can I say about my weekend. I think the pictures are going to be worth more than my words. Friday night I went to Lid's annual Halloween party. I think I missed it last year. But I was back on course this year. It was a good time. Although I couldn't get any of my friends to go with me, so I ended up going solo. But as is usually the case with me, when you are dressed up as a big dumb gorilla you make friends fast. Eventually we made it to the bar down the street and started in on the Karyoke. That was fun for the first two minutes until Lid thought it would be a great idea and try and steal everyone's thunder. Everytime someone got up to sing, Lid tried to grab the microphone and either sing with them or sing for them. Fun. Saturday morning, I went and played pick up football at the Wisconsin Lutheran College Field. Which was fun, even though I was sort of feeling the effects of the evening past. Although there was one guy playing in worse shape since he threw up in a garbage can half way through the game. Saturday afternoon I was out at my parent's house cutting deer. Once I finished with that, I headed over by Chris and Rebecca. Rebecca's sister, Vanessa set up a pre party and wow was it nuts. Just kidding, we ended up sitting around brainstorming what everyone could dress up as. Chris didn't know what to go as, but I had two really good ideas for him. Since he had a beard, I thought he should go as the bearded lady. Or else, get a bed sheet and cut a bunch of holes in it and go as Charlie Brown. Neither happened. We eventually went down to the bar that Vanessa and Angela worked at. The rest of the evening was uneventful. It was just too hot, loud and smoky in the bar. These complaints are all signs of getting old. Sunday I went to my nephew, Nick's, soccer game. And afterwards I was back out at my parent's place slaving away over dead deer carcasses. Monday was Halloween. After work I headed over to my sister's place and took her daughter, Lindsey, to Toys'r'us, as you can see I got her a Barbie My Size Castle. Then that evening I went trick or treating with the kids. It was the kids, my brother in law, Tim, my brother, Jon, and myself out trick or treating. And since we took a wagon and a cooler full of beer. It seemed like the adults wanted to stay out trick or treating longer than the kids. From my recollection, I believe I was the only adult that I saw dressed up that night. I am not sure if you can tell from the picture but I am once again sporting my gorilla suit. It got quite the work out. But it isn't quite time to put it away. Ski season is coming up. And I am planning to be skiing the slopes of Colorado the third weekend of December.


Well well well, the General and Dano are out. So the two biggest talkers are out. I would like to say that I am surprised, but I am not. The General still doesn't know how an over/under works. Here are the SPREADS. And I will do a quick run down, even though I doubt many of you look at who you have picked in the past.

Rickie: Kansas City, Atlanta, Cincinnati
Tree: Atlanta, Chicago, Dallas
Joe: Seattle, Atlanta, Cincinnati
The Dogger: Atlanta, Washington, Pittsburgh
Bubs: Seattle, Washington, Cincinnati
Kakes: Seattle, Washington, Cincinnati
Jodi: Kansas City, Washington, Cincinnati
Sherman: Seattle, Indianapolis, New England
Coonen: Baltimore, Washington, Pittsburgh
Todd: Indianapolis, Washington, Pittsburgh
Deb: Seattle, Washington, Pittsburgh
The General: Oh wait I forgot you are out.
Dan: That is right you are out too. Darn it. Darn it. Darn it.

And let me see who my dead beats are. Joe, Dawn, Ray, Fish, Jodi, Dan and Sherman.

My pick this week is going to be Thee New York Football Giants. Take that San Francisco.