Crimer Stoppers

Sun Prairie, WI - Police are asking for the public’s assistance in finding a vandal who targeted a home on Westridge Drive. In the early morning hours, from exactly 1:30 a.m. to 2:00 a.m., of July 19th, the Stegall residence was hit by vandals that “toilet papered” the family home, trees and one vehicle. Exactly 24 rolls of double ply Quilted Northern toilet paper were used. No finger prints were found at the crime scene. What is more baffling to authorities is that there isn’t a history of this type of crime in this affluent neighborhood.

Police spoke with the home owner, Dave “The General” Stegall after the incident. Mr. Stegall was quoted as saying, “I wasn’t really doing much that night. I stayed up late watching World Series of Poker on TV. Is there any better way for a hip lawyer to spend his Friday nights? I had been invited out for drinks with my good friend, Rickie Davies, who was in town for a canoe race. But I am married; my will to live and have fun in life has been sucked out of me. I eventually retired for the evening and the next morning I awoke to the exclamation of my wife yelling ‘That God Damn Rickie Davies!!!!’ I then rolled over in bed and glanced out the window to see toilet paper everywhere."

Mr. Davies was questioned about the incident. He went on record as saying “That is the really weird thing about this crime. I was staying in Sun Prairie the very same night at my friend, Joe’s, house. How I am being implicated in such a crime is beyond me. As I said, I was in the area, but I was sound asleep. I had a big canoe race (The Paddle Portage) the next day. I couldn’t be running around in the middle of the night causing trouble. Maybe it was some neighborhood kids that didn’t think too highly of the candy they gave out at Halloween.”

Mr. Stegall has sworn that he will get revenge. However, a police spokesman warned Mr. Stegall, based on the facts of the case, “it seems that the perpetrator has an abundance of time, energy and resources at his disposal. He is probably pretty good looking as well. Any retaliatory act would not doubt, begin a chain reaction that would result in similar acts against the Stegall household, with estimates of future damage being a ten fold of what they experienced in the early morning hours of July 19th.” The police spokesman went on further to say “resistance would only be futile.”

Anyone with information is asked to call the Vandalism Section at (262) 751-1597 (but do not expect anyone to answer). If you want to remain anonymous, a posting can be made on this blog. With your help maybe we can bring this criminal to justice.