Office Humor

I am sure it isn't possible, but maybe as a blogger over the last 7 years and 1,585 posts I have covered every topic? I really have nothing to talk about. I am hoping to go roller skating this weekend. I made a post, plus I sent out invite via text to a bunch of people, and so far I only have 3 maybes. Any one interested yet?

Today I had a team workshop to attend all day. The workshop was composed of about 20 people all from my office and the topic was communication. About half of us were selected to give presentations on the topic. I actually had another presentation / quiz that I created after the last workshop. It was a construction equipment quiz. Which has nothing to do with communication, so I had to put together a separate presentation about communication. So while some people didn't have to give a presentation, I gave two. For the quiz, I had 40 pictures of construction equipment and their were multiple choice answers as to the proper name of each piece of equipment. And to raise the stakes, I made trophies. Check them out.

Think I have too much time on my hands? I made more than 1 in case there was a tie for the high score. One guy had the second highest score and wanted to know if he got a trophy. My answer, "No, you can't have a trophy. 2nd place is 1st loser." He was actually put out a little bit.

My other presentation was very basic discussing communication and meetings. As it was a Powerpoint presentation, and I have a decent amount of experience with Powerpoint, I "jazzed" it up with a bunch of animation in the presentation. When I got to the final slide which was just said "Open Discussion", the screen slowly faded to black and then as I fielded any questions, I had credits as if it was a movie, rolling on the black screen that pretty much read as follows:

Produced by:

Rickie Davies

Directed by:

Rickie Davies

Executive Producer:

Rickie Davies

Casting:

Rickie Davies

Key Grip:

Rickie Davies

Assistant to Mr. Davies: (my personal favorite)

Rickie Davies

Gaffer:

Rickie Davies

Best Boy:

Rickie Davies

I hate to pat myself on the back, but it was pretty funny. So for any of you that give Powerpoint presentations, I highly recommend using this at the end of your presentation. Just make sure it is the right audience. I also want to hear about it.

I also go to use one of my favorite lines that I use for any public speaking engagement. If I say a joke that no one gets, I wait for a bit to let the silence sink in and then just say "Crickets".

Another way to entertain an audience while giving a presentation is to have a slide half way through that says "How am I doing on time?". I have a presentation that I just put together for my supervisor to give at a conference which includes the "How am I doing on time?" slide, and I am going to try to convince her to keep it in the presentation. I doubt she will go for it.

If you need any other ideas on how to put your job in jeopardy through presentations, just let me know.

Skating

A couple of weeks ago, I went skating with Nate, Michel and Elery. Here are some photos.This leads me to an open invitation. Saturday January 28th, it is adult skate night (at least that is what the sign said the other day) at Skateland in Waukesha, 9:00 pm to 11:30 pm. I am planning on going if I can convince anyone to go with me. I can't wait for the races. Let me know if you are interested.

Entertainment Center

It took me a long time. Almost as long as it took for me to make another post. But the "Entertainment Center" is now complete. Here is the before.The middle.And the completed project. Yes it took me 3 weeks after I got the tv on the wall, to repaint the wall, which I did yesterday. And then today, I put the trim around the cubbie hole.

That is about it. Oh how about a football prediction. I nailed it last week with the Packers. I am going with a rematch of the 2008 Super Bowl. Giants vs Patriots. The Giants vs. 49ers will be close, maybe even decided by a late field goal. The Patriots vs. Ravens will also be close, but Flacco throws a couple picks. One will be a pick six.

Professional Dilema

Here is an unusual work situation. I have been working at the current office I am in for a little over a year. When I started at this office, I was given a great cubicle. It was two aisles off the main aisle and I was the last cubicle on the end. About 8 months ago an individual was hired who would eventually take over all of my work, as my company's contract is up come this July. This new hire, I will call him George, was given my cubicle and I was forced to be moved to a cubicle right by the door where everyone walks behind me. Not only that, but it is a cubicle that I share with a co-worker, and it really isn't even a cubicle, since it only has one wall. Anyhow, George died this past weekend. How long do I have to wait before I ask for my old cubicle back?

The Packer Game

I woke up this morning telling myself that I won't get that emotionally invested in a football team again. I watched nearly every play of the 4 games this past weekend. But it was the Packer game which made me feel as if I was living and dying with each play. Here are my thoughts on the game.

Coaching:

I was OK with the early onside kick call if there had been proof that the up men on the Giants return team were retreating with the kickoff. But as the replay showed they weren't. Maybe they did on the kickoffs before that one, but I doubt it. In that case, then it was a really stupid call.

A defensive time out with 15 seconds to go and the opponent near mid field. Even if the Packers had stopped them on 3rd down and forced a punt, they might have got the ball back somewhere around their 20 with 5 or 6 seconds left in the half. What were the Packers going to do, throw a hail mary at the end of the half? That will never work....wait...what did I just say?

Charlie Peprah

Really, you don't know how to make a tackle. Are you afraid of getting hurt? Why are you delivering a blow with your forearms rather than firmly planting your shoulder right Hakeem Nicks stomach? I know, everyone wants to deliver that big blow. How about being a team player and making a textbook tackle and wrapping your arms around the opponent rather than trying to be the lead highlight on Sportscenter?

Jermichael Finley

Catch the damn ball. I know you are worried about doing your little shark fin on top of your helmet dance after you catch any ball, but catch the ball first. As far as I am concerned he can be cut.

The pass that Rodgers threw to the outside when Jennings turned to the inside, that was pretty big. And that stupid hail mary at the end of the half. The game was over right there.

I said Saturday night, it will come down to turnovers and penalties. How about this stat that they showed during the game? 6 fumbles lost all regular season. 3 lost in the game on Sunday. You can call that 1st onside kick a turnover too. And those dropped passes. 8 of them. You get paid to catch the ball. It seemed like Driver was the only guy on the field who wanted to catch the ball. I don't think the Giants won the game, the Packers lost it. I feel sick. I am going to go and lay down.

Tebow

I am way over the Tebow thing. In fact, I am actually anti Tebow. I heard today that if the Broncos win, that ESPN is going to launch a new channel, ESPNTEBOW. I did a little fact finding and here are the numbers and they are indisputable. Tebow is 1 o f 33 quarterbacks to have attempted more than 200 passes this year.

Quarterback Rating

His QB Rating is 72.9 (158.3 is the highest you can get), tops in the league is 122.5. Tebow is 27th out of 33.

Completion Percentage

His Completion Percentage 46.5%, less than half of his passes. Tops in the league 71.2. Tebow is dead last, 33rd out of 33.

And have you watched him throw? He can't even throw a tight spiral. Tebow is a flash in the pan. My prediction for him in his game against the Patriots. Less than 150 yards passing. Less than 50 yards rushing. Zero touchdowns, 2 interceptions. Patriots 35 - 3.

Looking ahead to the Packers tomorrow. They win a close game 28-24.

Dead Solider

What is a dead soldier? Well that is a term used for drinks, normally cans of beer or soda, that are left over after a party that have only one sip taken out of them, and then left to die and eventually poured down the drain the next morning. I throw my share of parties and the most infuriating thing to find while cleaning up is a bunch of dead soldiers laying around the house. It is basically throwing my money right down the drain. This past weekend, I had my fantasy football party. There were only 8 of us present to watch the games and play cards. With only a handful of people it was rather easy to catch the guilty party. At one point The General had a cocktail, a full beer that was just opened and another beer that wasn't opened. Being a military man you would think that The General would be the last one to be guilty of leaving dead soldiers around. Now The General might say that it is because that he parties so hard that he needs to have 3 drinks in front of him. But trust me, he doesn't party that hard. I would like to enter into evidence Exhibit A.

Sound asleep at a concert. No, not passed out, sleeping. There is a difference. So from this point on, The General will not be allowed another drink at my house, until he has shown me that he has finished the last one.

Drinking

Let me begin by saying that I have lived my life up to this point pretty much on my own terms. I do not like people telling me what to do. I have become quite comfortable with the fact that I answer to no one (maybe my parents, but they are both smart enough to know better). I like to say, "If I wanted to be told what to do, I would get married." I will admit it, I have my share of flaws. Probably way more than the average person. Drinking alcohol is one of them. I don't believe that I am an alcoholic (of course no alcoholics do), but I am without a doubt a binge drinker. For the last 3 years I have decided to take a break from drinking with the start of December. Lately I have been taking some heat from a number of people about my drinking or lack there of. I started this annual tradition just to prove or convince myself that I don't have a drinking problem. But after the grief that I have received recently, now I am doing it out of spite. I may never drink again.

House Sheepshead Rules

Until updated at a future time, here are the Sheepshead rules at my house.

Call an Ace

$1 a point

Cracks

Recracks

Double cracks

Round of doublers after a 60-60

Schwanzers

Doubler after a Schwanzer

Last Round of the night (for the table, not when someone is leaving the table) are Quads

Now if I am not at the table, play for however you want to play. If a game is going on, and I am asked to sit down after the game has started (i.e. The Freeman Party), when I sit down my rules.

If you have a problem with this, go play at someone else's house. Questions?

On a separate note, to all the kid bartenders out there, you split half your tips with the house.

The Last Christmas Pictures

My parents and all of their grandkids.All 21 of us.