Fake I.D.

February 19th, 1994

When I was in college I used to make quite a few trips up to Oshkosh. In fact, years later when I was at a wedding I ran into a girl who I had run into up in Oshkosh. She swore that I went to the school because she saw me up there so often. This story stems from my Oshkosh Days and also has to deal with my fake ID. Unfortunately there needs to be a little more set up with this story. When I was 19, I finally convinced my older brother, Dan, to give me his ID. I can still recall the day that I got it from him. I had been hounding him for weeks for him to give it to me. He had stopped by my old place in Milwaukee, 2864 N. Cramer Street. By there are some memories there. I recall that Dan was a little short on money at the time and I actually had to pay him for the I.D. I think I paid him $20, but I also recall that at that time he owed me $40. But I wanted the I.D. so bad that I gave him the money. I wasn’t really all that sure how well the I.D. would work for me since Dan was 24 years old. But I had used it all over Milwaukee and never had a problem. I would buy half barrels at the liquor store down the street with out a problem. So after a couple weeks I was very confident with the I.D. On this particular weekend I was once again up in Oshkosh visiting Matt Kaker. Krum had also come into town on this weekend down from Minnesota. Krum had just paid for a fake I.D. himself. Although he had taken his I.D. to a person who cut the numbers in the license number and the date and rearranged them so that it appeared that he was 21. Some of your friends who lived at the “Soccer House” (because it was all soccer players to lived there) were throwing a party that night. We were at that party for a while and then we hit the Oshkosh bars. First we went to The Bubbler and then we headed to Molly’s. Some how we got a little split up on the way to Molly’s and Paul and I walked in together. The bouncers stopped us both as they claimed that our I.D.s were fake. All of my friends were already inside and I had my beer muscles going, so I put up a pretty big stink about them not letting us in. The bouncer said to me, “There is no way that this is you. You have two choices, you can leave or we can call the cops.” I said “That is me so you better call the cops.” Krum and I are sitting on a bench just inside the doorway waiting for the cops to come. In the meantime, Kaker comes up to us and asks us what is going on. I tell him the situation and not to worry. As we are waiting Krum starts to crack under the pressure. Krum goes up to the bouncer and admits that his I.D. is fake and just asks for it back and wants to leave or he if can’t have his I.D. back if he can just leave. The bouncer doesn’t give in to either request. I of course with my liquid courage am sticking tight to my story. Finally the cops show up. The bouncer give him the situation that they are fake I.D.s and that Paul has already said that his was fake. The cop looks at my I.D. asks me my name and address, I told him. He gave the I.D. back to me and said, “Have a good time.” I shoot the bouncer an “I told you so” look and Kaker was standing right there with a drink in his hand just waiting for me. Unfortunately for Krum he wasn’t quite as lucky. Since he had confessed that it was cut he ended up getting a ticket. It is too bad, because if Paul had kept his mouth shut he would have got in. After knowing that it was cut, they still had to look at it really close to see that it was cut. The cops hauled Paul out of Molly’s and into the cop car waiting outside. I felt kind of bad, so I left the bar and walked outside because I wanted to see what was going to happen to Krum. I walked right down the sidewalk and past the car with Paul sitting in the back seat. I headed down the street a half a block and waited for Paul to get his ticket. Krum was pretty mad, but he had just kept his mouth shut everything would have been fine. A good gangster, Krum would not make.