M.K.A.'s Weak Challenge

For those that might not be a regular reader, earlier this week, my cousin, M.K.A., (which stands for Mike Kicking Ass) threw down the gauntlet. And challenged me and my skating ability based on my posting reviewing my niece, Sarah’s, birthday party. After stating that I lost in a race to a 9 year old, I did make the claim that no one that reads my blog could have beaten this 9 year old. And I went a step further by stating that none of my readers could beat me either. M.K.A. took exception to that statement and challenged me to a race on rollerblades.

M.K.A.,

You have a thing or two to learn about making challenges and trash talking. I am happy that you made your challenge here on my blog because I can use your own words against you. As well as show you the error of your ways.

Please follow this link to help remind yourself of what it is you said / wrote.

As you first stated "I will take you to town any day in a rollerblade race". That is a great start on trash talking, but you do have to realize that you have to back it up.

I accepted your challenge by with my retort of "Name the time and the place". This statement puts the ball in your court and allows you to call the shots. Basically you could have been the home team and picked when and where you want to have this little race.

This is where you should have said “Saturday. 2:00 p.m. at Bob’s roller rink in Whitewater.” But you didn’t, you procrastinated and restated that "anytime is cool with me." By this statement, you put the ball back in my court and gave me the right to name the time and place. Since you said “anytime is cool with me”, I assumed that "this Saturday” would qualify as “anytime.” Apparently it is not. Your definition of “anytime” is obviously different from mine. Aren’t you currently an honor roll student in college?

To be truely accurate, what you needed to say was “anytime is cool with me as long as I don’t have football practice or I am not having dinner with my parents.”

I, as well as my readers, can clearly see that you are back peddling on your initial challenge to skate against me. That is understandable. You are obviously in a "lose lose" situation in challenging me. If you win, well you should win. You are 21 and in the prime of your athletic life. I am an old middle age man who is well past his athletic prime. But if you lose, well then you just lost to a man nearly twice your age. If you want to back down on your challenge, I will accept your apology and we can go about on with our lives. However, if you are serious, and you still think that you can “easily” beat me, I will set aside time in all but one of the next 4 or 5 weekends to take you on. Here is the schedule at Skateland. As far as I can tell, all of the weekend times, should qualify as "anytime". You let me know when you aren’t practicing football or having dinner with your parents. Mind you, next week I will be out of town, but if you can make it out to Baltimore, I am sure I can find a rink to race.

I know that this posting will no doubt spark another rebuttal from you. But please do me a favor before you leave a remark. Think about what you are saying, and make sure you can back up any statement you make. I full expect your response to not include the word “anytime”. I am however, expecting you to craft a response which is further procrastination that will include such phrases such as "weekends aren't good for me because I have football" or "I am spending the weekend with Katie." Step up to the challenge and back up your words or apologize and admit your inferiority.

I already know that the chances of you backing down from your challenge is highly unlikely. That being said, I would like to make this little race a bit more interesting. I.E. I would like to place a little wager on the race. No, I don't want money. I want public humiliation. If I win, you read a public statement, prepared by me, at the 4th of July party, which will detail the challenge and the result, to the entire family that will also be video taped and aired on my blog. And if you win, well I have to be honest, I am not worried about you winning. But if you pull off the minor miracle of beating me, name what you want.