My Final Dying Wish

I always get very depressed on Sundays and especially Sunday nights. I think it just comes from the dread of the anticipation of dealing with the week ahead. This past Sunday I was thinking about my own mortality. I have decided that once I past and go on to hopefully a better place, that I do not want to be buried but rather to be cremated and have my ashes scattered. Have you ever been to a wake / funeral, and afterwards heard people speak of the deceased “Boy, he didn’t look too good.” Of course he didn’t, he is dead. So that whole coffin and burial thing is not for me. So I want to have my ashes scattered. But this ash scattering isn’t going to be as easy as it sounds. I want to be scattered in a number of different places. I want my final resting places to be places where I have had a lot of fun. And places that mean a lot to me. Also as my family and friends gather in these various places to spread my ashes, I would like them to come up with a quick impromptu eulogy. I request that each eulogy ends with “So as you wished, we come here to lay your ashes to rest.” Dump out my ashes on the ground and close with “Good night sweet prince.” Just like in the Big Lebowski.

Here are the locations that I would like to call my final resting spots.

Inside Alpine Valley Music Theater. After nearly every concert I went to at Alpine, at the end of the show, I would hurry to top of the hill. It is on the top of this hill where I would sit and watch the thousands of people exit. It was also my normal meeting spot with people that went to the show with me, if we got split up.

Kettle Moraine High School Soccer Field. The game of soccer still means a great deal to me. It was in my high school years where I took the sport the most serious and was the most competitive. In my two years on varsity, my team only lost one game on that field, it was also my last game on that field.

The Island in middle of the Mississippi near Trempealeau. This is where our annual camping trip is. It is just such a relaxing place for me. And I look forward to being there every year. (Nate and Eric are going to have to take care of this request for me.)

The point out at Nate’s parent’s farm in Hillsboro. We were out there this past weekend. Every time I have been out at the farm we always make a trip out there. It is just such a peaceful place and it is a great view looking out over the valley. (Another one Nate is going to have to take care of)

My parent’s front yard. There are countless memories from my parent’s yard. I can recall us as kids, playing 500 on the hill. Trying to jump over the pine trees, which are now a least 30 feet tall. Kicking the soccer ball around or throwing the frisbee. Playing football, volleyball, ghost in the graveyard, etc.

On one of the blue runs at Copper Mountain under the Super Bee Lift. With all of the skiing that I do, I have to end up on a mountain somewhere. I think Copper is one of the places I have skied more than any other one. There is nothing better than having the MP3 player on and hitting a groomed cruiser run. (This task might fall on Russ' shoulders)

My front yard where the musical chairs takes place. I have spent nearly a 1/3 of my life in that house. The most excited I get at my party every year is when the musical chairs contest starts. For one thing, it means I am nearly done with the games and that ends my stress for the day. Plus the kids want to win so badly and it shows when they get kicked out and are crying. And the musical chairs can actually get the adults a bit more competitive than normal. No one will ever forget the Bahr girls wrestling on the ground for the final open chair.

Oakland Gyros. 5 ½ years of college, I had to pick at least one place on the east side to end up. There were so many times I ended up there at the end of the night. There was the time Storch and I ended up there at the end of the night. We only had enough money to split a gyro. We polished that off in minutes but we were still hungry. In the booth next to us some guy had ordered 3 or 4 gyros to go and he was slumped over passed out. Storch and I both walked by and each grabbed one of the gyros and took off out the door. Obivously all in attendance will also have to sit down for a gyro, extra pita and a large root beer. (Mark, Kevin and Bob should be on hand)

The Bluemound parking lot at Miller Park. Is there any better place to be in the summer than tailgating here? I would like to make the request that when my ashes are scattered here, that it is during an actual game.

On the roadway at Lake Waterville where I light off the 4th of July fireworks. I have been doing the fireworks there for quite a few years now. Last year was by far the best performance to date. It was overwhelming the feeling I got this last year as I walked up the hill after the last shell exploded and my entire extended family was standing and cheering for me. It is not just because of this past year, but because I have spent every 4th of July on this lake as long as I can remember. And the 4th is always one of the best days of the year for me. But this is also a time sensitive ash spreading occasion, obviously I want to be spread on the 4th of July.